Question: When I try to concentrate on the my thoughts – I can almost see the part of the mind which carries the impression that comes from my actions and engagements in day to day life , then I also see the part of mind that is really observing the flow, I feel I can take control on this process but this is also a thought which only stops the previous thought .
Then I feel for sometime the thought process becomes very vague and fuzzy – sort of blankness. but still I am quite aware that even that is a thought. I feel my body is sort of transparent but I am still aware that this is also a thought – I just can not reach anywhere beyond one form of thought to other. I feel I am just hitting a hopeless wall and do not know where to go from here. Though I feel quite relaxed and good after this process but I feel I am not going anywhere beyond this temporary relaxation. Is there something else that I can do ?
Answer: The real happiness will not come until you reach the thoughtless state. Try to make the mind free all thoughts by constantly observing what the mind is doing. Jumping from one thought to another is not a solution.
Response to the above Answer: Thank you for your kind guidance. The jumping of thought comes as I try to identify the “I” (who am I query as advised by many) and then try to reach the next observer of the current thought, as I perceive. Do I understand you correctly that you are asking me to stop this query and just observe the thoughts continuously as it comes. It is my good fortune to have your guidance.
Reply to the above Response: Try to control the thoughts and observe it. No need to think ‘who am I’. It is enough if you understand that you are different from mind. While observing, remember – mind should not be the observer, but mind is to be observed. If you patiently pursue it, it is possible to observe it. If you have time, have relaxation for about 30 minutes before meditation, then the process will be easy. During that time, try to make the mind as calm as possible.
RESPONSE to the Above REPLY : I am really grateful for your clear directive. Though at present I do not see or find any observer beyond my mind, I am sure if you have advised me to look for that, with your blessing I will be able to do it in course of practice. I mediate early morning at 5:00 AM. My mind is generally not very disturbed at that point. I do some initial slow deep breathing before I start attempting meditation. I will increase that time. Night I come home very late (around 9:30/10:00 PM) and find it difficult to sit for long. I would like meeting you sometime next month. … …
Reply to the above Response: I appreciate your sincerity. You will surely make progress, if you hold on to your practice. … …