Question: I am influenced by Swami Vivekananda and Ramakrishna Literatures from my younger age. When I am in Bangalore in the year 2000 I have taken Pledge in front of Ramakrishna idol in Vivekananda Ashrama that I will join in the service of Ramakrishna order once I complete my Graduation. But I failed to fulfill it.
I have great desire to know who am I but I am not believe in God. And I dislike discussing about the God and disliking the persons who will try to Convenes me there is a God. First I want to know who I am without knowing myself why should I agree there is god who is visible.
I am feeling so guilty whenever I visited Ramakrishna temple. In my house they are looking marriage alliance for me. But I am not perfect and pure in mentality. I too have all weakness as a normal man has. Please advise me what to do. Please let me know what Vivekananda accepts from me as youth of India. I am ready to give up every thing.
Answer: We are glad to know that you are influenced by Swami Vivekananda and Ramakrishna literature from your young age. Please do not stop reading books on and by Swami Vivekananda. Those books will help you to clarify your doubts. We request you to read Jnana Yoga by Swami Vivekananda. When starting analyzing and negating the body – you can surely know who you are and what Vivekananda expects of you?