Question: I was very happy to come across the Question and answer section, wherein people can pour out their problems and even more touched by your patient listening and answers.
Although I have been doing Japa fairly regularly, I have not been able to go beyond one cycle at night as I fall asleep and beyond 4 cycles in the morning, mainly because of lack of time. I get up at 5 in morning and sit from about 5:15 till 5:50 or so. At night, I usually wait till all my family members have gone to sleep, which can be a bit late, 11:30 or 12. Kindly read my problems and suggest how to overcome them.
I have problem in keeping the mind focused on Sri Thakur’s image in my heart. No matter, how many times I bring the mind back, it wanders once again. I am persevering, but do despair at times. I find it easier to concentrate on the Mantra Japa, but not both.
Secondly, I am unable to hold my posture still while meditating/Dhyana. My shoulders slump forward and I have to sit straight again after a while. I am also now, unable to sit cross-legged and find it easier if I sat on a chair. Would this be alright?
Thirdly, If I try to increase the number of times I recite the given mantra, I find that I am not pronouncing it properly even in my mind which makes me feel guilty. So, I go back to repeating it slowly and clearly, but lesser number of times.
I read in “Mahapurush Maharaj as we saw him” that, Japa and Dhyana ultimately culminate in the same, which I find to be true to some extent. During the times I am doing Japa and keeping Sri Thakur’s image in my mind, the Japa is forgotten. The mind however, soon wanders and after this is recognized, I go back to Japa.
When I am alone, I sing a few Bhajans. At that time, when I think of the meaning of the Bhajan, tears flow, my throat chokes and I am unable to sing in tune any further. Is this just an overemotional reaction, which I should try to overcome?