Question: I want to ask your suggestion on a very personal decision that I am running thro’ my spiritual life. I had almost decided not to get married in life & lead a spiritual life & also involve myself in doing Seva. What made me to think so was I felt the need for purity & living alone could keep me away from worldly householder troubles and get me closer to god although sometimes this was lacking total will. With this thought I was always try to think which ever female I met as my mother or sister.
Recently I have helped a girl to join my company who was referred to me by a spiritual evolved person. I’m deeply touched with the divinity she has in her and also the character & glow she has in her. First I got drawn to her I have greater respect & love towards her. I can see that even she has the same impulse. I am sure that this is not any bodily attraction, in fact she suffers from serious asthma disease.
Suddenly a thought struck me that she is an ideal companion for me in my walk in spiritual level. This has put me in confusion whether that would affect my devotion & love to the Lord. I am now confused whether it’s right on my part to think so about her, or should I live life alone & walk towards the goal supreme. But on the other hand, I feel a deep need of her company so that we can move faster & I also get a much needed companion. But I also feel God is the only real companion; all others are transitory. I am fixed between these thoughts & I don’t know a way out.
Answer: There are two types of life. One is householder and another, a monastic.
In our Sastras, the life has been divided into four stages namely, Brahmacharya (Student life), Grihasta (House holder), Vanaprastha (Recluse), and Sanyasa (Monastic). Each soul will be traveling from one stage of life to another with the ultimate goal of finding our true nature or in other words, to be united with god. There is also a scriptural sanction for a person to go to any of the higher stages, say from Brahmacharya to Sanyasa if he is mentally prepared and is imbibed with high degree of renunciation. It is just like having a double promotion. Both are good. But the choice depends upon the aspirant – the student.
However, I may add here for your information that in our order, for a person, if he is a graduate, the age limit for joining is 28 years.
When you feel that you have found a good life companion and that it will help you in your spiritual journey, I can only say “May God speed to you”. All the paths have got its own plus and minus points which vary according to the evaluator. The decision will be yours and you are the maker of your destiny.